Safety

Safety is crucial when it comes to BDSM and kink in general. Beyond the general safe sex advice, BDSM and kink often require a few more safety precautions than vanilla sex. It’s important to negotiate with your partner before you begin any sort of play. This is important because it helps establish consent and boundaries for everyone involved. Typically these negotiations are when you establish your “safe word”. A safe word is a word that you have agreed will either slow or stop whatever play is taking place. This helps to protect the boundaries of everyone involved and prevents potential physical/emotional damage. Keep in mind that safewords are not typically words such as “no”, “don’t” or “stop”, as these are sometimes used during various types of consensual non-consent scenes. Safewords are usually a word or phrase that aren’t normally used while playing. The most common safewords are “Red” (for stop) and “Yellow” (for slow down). Please make sure to respect your partners safeword.

Safewords aren’t all you need for safe play. It’s also important to understand the practical safety aspects of the play you engage in. Remember that parts of the body can be damaged.  Nerves and blood vessels can be damaged by contusion during bondage or discipline, and skin can be scarred. Having at least a broad understanding of physiology and the effects of whatever toys may be in use can help you to avoid any physical harm or any embarrassing trips to the emergency room.

It’s also helpful to know your partner. Understanding each person’s psychological triggers (Otherwise known as “squicks”)  can help you to avoid emotional fallout.

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